Friday, January 23, 2009

It's Shocking!

The static electricity around my house this time of year is ridiculous.

If I walk within a foot of my TV the hair on my arms stands up. If I reach to turn on a light switch blue lightning shoots from my fingers. Kinley's hair is perpetually plastered to her poor little face.

To combat this I try to "discharge" myself whenever possible. I'm forever walking around slapping walls, etc. in an attempt to release the static before I have to reach for something a door knob or the refrigerator.

I try to avoid certain fabrics, like flannel, wool, and especially fleece. No one wearing fleece is allowed to touch me at all. Kinley is so used to seeing me walk around with my can of Static Guard that she automatically brings her coat to me to be sprayed before she puts it on.

I require all members of my household to "discharge" themselves before touching me and particularily before kissing me. The kids actually said to me, "Why do you hit us every time we try to kiss you?" (It's just a little quick smack on the arm to get the shock on my hand instead of on my lips. No big deal.)

But yesterday things dropped to an all time low. Despite my best efforts and all of my "discharging" I was shocked a banana.

A banana!

Oh, come on!


Deena said...

lol. I think you should seek professional help.

Um... to de-static-fy your house. Not for any possible mental issues you are causing by hitting your kids when they want to kiss you. lol!!

There was a Wal-mart here that when they built it, it was shocking like that. It's not so bad anymore, but I don't know what they did. Perhaps some sort of grounding??

Travis Penn said...

This made me laugh out loud. Hilarious.

Ask Wendy about her "shocking" experience in Springfield sometime. Talk about an incredible light show.

Crystal said...

I get shocked in Wal-Mart all the time!! If I touch the cart anywhere except on the blue plastic handle it shocks me. I assumed it was something to do with creating static electricity when the wheels roll over the floor, but I have no idea.

I just try to avoid touching the metal or I where my leather gloves...that works too, but it looks odd unless it is really cold outside. :)

Crystal said...

Of course I mean "wear" my leather gloves. Pardon me, Grandma.

Tia said...

Hey! I hate being shocked too, but I think it's caused when the air is too dry. Try using a humidifier in your house. It helps with stuffy noses, it makes the house feel warmer, and helps control static electricity. Good luck!