Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy

If there are any sitcom writers out there that need a story line for a family comedy about a stay-at-home mom, please read on.

This morning I spend some time doing some internet research while the kids play. Of course Cainan isn't great at entertaining himself so I have to keep shouting out suggestions as to what he should play with. Finally he decides to blow bubbles outside. I open the jar of bubbles for him and send him on his way. Five minutes later he is back asking for more bubbles. Where have his gone? He spilled them. Where? Just inside the back door...but not on the carpet, he assures me. Not only did he spill the bubbles but he then tried to mop them up with his socks. The result was a slimy, sticky mess on the tile in front of the door. I don't want to stop in the middle of my research to clean it up so I need to keep him out of it for a minute. Time for redirection.

I then suggest that he practice his writing with his washable markers in his wipe-off book. Good idea. He chooses a green and a blue marker and gets to work...right beside me in the office. Chattering the whole time. It is getting difficult for me to concentrate so after 10 minutes or so I get up turn on a cartoon for him and put Kinley down for a nap. I go back to work. Three minutes later he wants his markers again...not to write with, but to attach end to end and use as a lightsaber (Darth Maul's to be exact). Fine. Hand over the markers...go back to work. Finally the work is finished, the e-mails are sent, and I'm ready to go clean up the bubbles. As I get up from the computer I realize that the wipe off book is covered in marker so thick that it has actually puddled on the pages. Then I see Cainan. He has blue and green streaks up and down his arms and all over his face. I send Cainan in to the bathroom to wash up (thank goodness they weren't permanent markers) and get to work on the bubbles. Just as I finish I can hear Kinley playing in her room and realize that it is time to get her up for lunch.

I run into the kitchen to make her lunch then go upstairs to get her out of her crib. (Cainan is now done washing and is back on the couch watching Dora the Explorer.) When I look in the crib at Kinley she smiles up at me from a puddle of vomit. Her sheet, her clothes and even her hair are totally soaked. I don't know how long she has been laying in it, but it's definitely been a while. So I run the bath water and undress her. I give her a bath, dress her, feed her lunch and get us all into the car to head for Wal-Mart. Everything is fine at the store. We come home and I put both kids down for naps. Now certain that my time of rest and rejuvenation has come I unload the groceries and then go to the bathroom before settling in to watch the reality TV show I taped last night. As soon as I step into the bathroom I know I won't be getting any rest. All of the blue and green marker that came off of Cainan transferred to my sink, floor, walls, mirror and hand towel.

So...the hour that I spent working on the computer translated in to two hours of extra work around the house. Just what was I researching that was so important? All the verses in the Bible that contain the word JOY. There were 242 and it is a good thing I read them all when I did.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

The Downside of Literacy

As Ryker gets older we are giving him more responsibilities around the house. His newest job is to take the burnable trash out to the burn barrel in the yard and the rest of the trash to the dumpster. He has been doing this for a few weeks now so we decided to go ahead and teach him how to use matches and light the fire in the burn barrel. I gave him the box of matches and was pushing him out the door so Brian could give him the burning lesson when Ryker looked down at the box of matches and said, "Hey! This says to keep out of the reach of children!"

Sometimes I really wish he couldn't read.