Friday, July 10, 2009

A Confession

I hide food.

Not Ding Dongs or Cheetos or Fudge Rounds.

I hide healthy food.

Specifically Quaker Mini Rice Cakes. Ranch flavor.

I love the things as a replacement for the handful of potato chips that I used to have with my sandwich at lunch everyday. The bags aren't big but I can make them last about a week and a half if I eat 10 (the recommended serving size) per day.

The problem is Brian loves them too. And he doesn't necessarily follow the servings suggestions.

If he knows we have them the bag might last two days.....tops.

And it's not like Fiber One Bars where all I have to do is buy the peanut butter flavor to be sure that he won't eat them all. He actually likes ranch flavored stuff.

And it's not like I don't want him to eat healthily. I do. But I won't get any of it if he chows it all. And if the kids find out about it then I'll be lucky to get a single solitary rice cake. Selfish, I know. But that stuff is expensive!!

So. I hide them. I've found various places that work pretty well.

I put them in the highest cabinet behind all of boxes of cereal and the glass pitchers I never use. But when the cereal runs out he can see that teal colored bag through the glass pitchers.

I put them in the back of the knee high shelf in the pantry behind a bunch of boxes of Tuna Helper and Rice Pilaf. I don't think he ever spotted them there, but they were hard to get to and I had to keep clearing off the shelf everyday just to make my lunch.

Then I hit upon the perfect place. Down in my craft cabinet. I have more cabinets in my kitchen than I need so a few of them are dedicated to seasonal decor and craft supplies. Brian never gets in any of those. So I snuggled my bag of contraband right in next to the Easter eggs and the empty hermit crab cage.

But then I forgot about it. I didn't remember it until I opened the drawer of phonebooks and found a single rice cake laying there. I knew immediately what had happened. Sure enough I opened the craft cabinet and found that a mouse had eaten a hole in the bottom of the bag and devoured a good portion of my secret stash!

Serves me right for being so sneaky, I guess.

But here is the poetic justice portion of the story.

I threw the bag on the counter and sat down to eat my lunch. Next thing I know Brian is in the kitchen munching on rice cakes.....mouse droppings and all. (Apparently he didn't notice the big jagged hole in the bottom of the bag.) I tried yelling out a warning but my mouth was full. All I could do was wave my arms wildly. He finally got the message and spit out the mouthful he was crunching.

What did we learn?

A) I need to find a new hiding place.
B) We have mice.
C) Look before you eat.


Anonymous said...

That is hilarious!

Anonymous said...

oh yeah, that last comment was from Tia