This is a homemade demotivator that someone created just for those of us who live in the Land of Lincoln. Enjoy!

BRiCCK...it's like CHiPs, the old TV show. The "i" doesnt' really stand for anything it just makes the other letters actually spell a word. So BRiCCK stands for Brian, Ryker, Crystal, Cainan, Kinley! Thanks Eric Estrada!
Ok...here's a REALLY bad Christmas gift!!! After the birth of my first child, my mother decided to give me a LOVELY Christmas gift - a gift certificate to the local hemmorhoid treatment center!!! Can you even imagine opening that in front of the family??
“…had died already, during the night, and was up anyway, making coffee in the normal fashion, and that I would be compelled for some time to be the companion of a dead fellow who refused to acknowledge his condition.”
“I was human but now I think I am changing. It’s a change for the better. I can sleep or not as I will. I feel no anger. I am not thirsty. Hot and cold have no purchase on me.”
“And so it came down to a farmhouse. As it so often does!”
“Death arrived easy as a train; Hood just climbed aboard, like the capable traveler he was.”
“I think I’ll pass on that bag of snakes.”